It happens with every wedding. The bride and groom invite the guests they would like to (or are able to) invite, yet somehow there is always a guest or two who send their response cards back with an uninvited plus-one, even though only their name was included on the inner envelope. If you are in this situation now, you are probably thinking “What makes them think they can add a plus-one? Could we have been any clearer??” This guest either knows full well what they are doing, or they may be completely oblivious to basic wedding etiquette. Whatever the case may be, we have listed the few possible responses you can choose to give, as well as the things to consider when making that decision. If you or someone you know is in this sticky situation, read on below!
Option #1 – Not saying anything and allowing that guest to bring their plus-one.
This option will definitely help you avoid an awkward conversation (or argument). You will be making one guest happy, but keep in mind that other guests will not be so happy. Your other singles will likely be upset that one of your guests was able to bring a date when they were not.
Option #2 – Saying no.
Give your guest a call (this conversation is must better over the phone than over text or email). Let that guest know how thrilled you are that he or is able to make it to the wedding, but due to budget or space limitations, you unfortunately have had to cap the guest list at a certain amount and are unable to allow plus-ones (as much as you would like to). Unless their plus-one is a spouse or they have been in long-term serious relationship with that person (which you would have already known by now and invited them), then stand your ground. Be kind yet unwavering in your decision. Before ending the call, let your guest know that you hope he or she can still come to the wedding.
Option #3 – Allowing other singles to bring their plus-ones.
You could always reconsider your guest list and revise your rule about no plus-ones, as long as the venue has the room for additional guests and your budget is able to accommodate the additional meals. You should, however, consider whether or not you mind having several guests you don’t know at your wedding. Just keep in mind that you shouldn’t allow only some plus-ones and not others. Your decision should apply to all.
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